top 10 reasons for stapp to cancel a show

10. sore throat from screaming "you're a sexy bitch" too much while looking in the mirror
9. refuses to perform because tremonti tells him "no more leg humping"
8. needs more time to work on his letter to santa claus
7. he's upset because the latest creed video only had him on screen 87% of the time instead of the standard 90%
6. the torn seam in the seat of his leather pants hasn't been sewn back up yet.
5. scott's new "friend" from the strip club last night forgot to wake him up on time to get on the tour bus before it left.
4. he found a zit on his forehead and would not perform with an imperfection on his body.
3. suffered a severe case of razor burn while shaving his chest.
2. threw a tantrum when he saw that the salad fork was in the wrong place during the pre-show dinner
1. one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!

(author unknown)